When I was growing up in the 80’s and early 90’s rockers still had long hair. And I wanted to be a rockstar. So naturally I wanted to have long hair.
I grew my hair so I could headbang in the mirror while pretending to be the front man of another God-awful hair band.
I went back and forth from long hair to short, and from long hair starter kit with wings, to the glorious mullet.
Then in college after achieving non-mullet having long hair status for the first time I could finally tie it all back into a ponytail. What goals I had…
After a couple more long haired years I realized I was going bald. When I pulled my hair back you could see right through to my scalp.
So I cut my hair.
But I still longed for long hair.
I attempted to grow it out a few more times but it just wasn’t the same. When I was younger it grew thick and curly and it was soft. As I aged it grew more like Doc from Back to the Future.
I could keep long hair and look like an aging rocker who never made it.
I could grow it long on the sides like Bozo and do the comb over.
Or I could just go bald with dignity like Captain Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation.
So I never looked back. I embraced my baldness along with my age and I shaved my head and kept it shaved.
Recently I was hanging out with a good friend of mine who is also in his early 40’s. Immediately I noticed something was different about him.
He had new hair.
It was not just cut… but styled. It was layered and highlighted. He was a new man. It’s not only that it made him look younger. He actually looked good for his age before the do. He was different altogether.
He had an aura of peace and calm about him, but not in the passive sense. He seemed really focused and determined like he was on a mission. He had assumed the posture of success.
Even though I used to have a pony tail and even though I used to blow dry my mullet I used to think that men dying their hair was superficial. Without realizing it I had subscribed to some macho bullshit that going gray gracefully was some kind of virtue. How superficial…
Being uncomfortable with yourself is not a virtue. It’s a self-inflicted prison. it’s a recipe for self sabotage and ultimate failure.
I heard a sermon about a town drunk. Everybody new him as old John. One day by the grace of God he got sober and cleaned himself up. The town’s people barely recognized him. When people asked him if he was old John he told them he was new John.
New John refused to stay in a pigeon hole the rest of his life. He decided to reflect a new image that emanated the change he desired.
Midlife crisis is a term often thrown at new hair when a man is of a certain age. As I’m only getting more bald I don’t foresee a new hairdo on my horizon but perhaps a body transformation is in order.
Thanks for Reading
Tracy says
California is calling you. Loved the story and know Bill. He continues to be an awesome guide in the continuing journey of being my best self.
Slick says
Thank You Tracy! Me and Bill have been helping each other to break on through since adolescence. I’d love to sojourn to the Pacific again.